


The Interview To End All Interviews (Live From The Luckyblog!)

by scapegoat



Series: "Intros Into Arcane/Occult" with Alya Césaire & The Luckyblog [8]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste Is Not Chat Noir, Akuma Attack (Miraculous Ladybug), Alya Césaire Appreciation, Alya Césaire Is The Best, Alya Césaire to the Rescue, BAMF Women, Bad Parent Emilie Agreste, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Black Cat Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Butterfly Emilie Agreste, Gabriel Agreste Is Not Hawk Moth, Girl Power, Hero Worship, Journalist Alya Césaire, Kwami Swap, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Ladybug Kagami Tsurugi, Ladybug Merchandise (Miraculous Ladybug), Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Kagami Tsurugi Friendship, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Is Not Ladybug, Morally Ambiguous Character, Neutral Chloé Bourgeois, Partnership, Peacock Gabriel Agreste, Protect Alya Césaire, Protective Alya Césaire, Secret Identity, The Ladyblog (Miraculous Ladybug), Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:42:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29520345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scapegoat/pseuds/scapegoat
Summary: After the copy akuma, Alya lands the first-ever interview with the city's magically heroic duo. Naturally, because this is life now, an akuma attack interrupts said interview, but Alya will be damned if she lets that or anything stop her from completing this interview.
Relationships: Alya Césaire & Chloé Bourgeois, Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Kagami Tsurugi, Alya Césaire & Markov, Alya Césaire & Max Kanté, Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Kagami Tsurugi, Max Kanté & Markov
Series: "Intros Into Arcane/Occult" with Alya Césaire & The Luckyblog [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852921
Kudos: 10





	The Interview To End All Interviews (Live From The Luckyblog!)

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Miraculous Ladybug nor do I make money from writing fanfiction
> 
> A/N: this takes place directly after chapter five: Kitty Section

_Thurs, Oct 15 th, 2020_

  
A technical difficulties warning with a green-eyed black cat head running around chasing ladybug dots pops up before the camera returns with everyone positioned differently in the room, now lacking a table and Chloé. “Sorry about that folks, let's start with the questions!”

  
Lady Luck is seated in a chair while Karma is perched on the same chair’s arm.

  
“Now for the hero’s safety, I obviously won’t be asking any personal questions that have anything to do with their civilian identities. Naturally, that means any submitted questions along that vein will be ignored no matter how many times they pop up. So, onto the first question.” Alya scoots forward in her seat, “how did you come up with your names?”

  
“I guess you could say it was a bit of good fortune.” Karma replies with a laugh.

  
Lady Luck chuckles, “mine was simple. It wasn’t copyrighted.” Karma stares at her partner. “I was originally going to go with Lucky Beetle but that is a cigarette brand and I didn’t want to associate myself with that. Then again ‘Lady Luck’ is a rather common phrase that pertains to multiple things.”

  
“Too late to change it now.” Karma points out.

  
“I suppose...”

  
“Wow. Thanks for that. Next question: What do you think Mite and Méfait want with your Miraculouses?”

  
“Something unoriginally evil I’d bet.” Karma mutters. Lady Luck nods in agreement. “We’re a pair of tools who want world domination.” Karma says imitating Mme. Mite’s voice. Beside her, Lady Luck chuckles.

  
Alya laughs as well, “okay. I can actually picture that. Oh! We have our first submitted question from... Chloé?” The three occupants of the room look around before Alya hits the accept button on her phone.

  
Chloé’s scowling face pops up with a very familiar building in the background. “I have a series of serious questions. What’s your favorite pâtissèries? I’ve been all over this damned city and there’s only one place...” She shudders, “that accommodations gluten intolerance rush jobs.” Grumbling under her breath, the camera pans out showing Chloé standing in front of Sabine & Tom Boulangerie Pâtissèrie. Damn, she got there quick. “Consider this my good deed of the _century_ Dupain-Cheng!” She growls pointing at the camera then takes a deep breath, “so, again...” She brings the camera back down to her face, “what pâtissèries do you want?”

  
“Surprise us.” Karma replies smiling.

  
“So long as there are no peanuts or tree nuts.” Lady Luck adds, “I’m allergic.”

  
“Got it.” The blonde gives them a thumbs up before she disconnects the call.

  
“Right. Allergies are pretty common and not identity revealing so... what other allergies do you two have? It’s probably good for us to know in case there’s like a peanut akuma or something.”

  
Lady Luck frowns. “That would be... terrible.”

  
“Can you imagine civilians running around with epi-pens in case we get stuck by, like, food akumas?” Karma laughs clutching her sides. Alya can’t help but laugh herself; Karma’s laugh is infectious.

  
“If it helps I’d say go for it,” Alya says through her laughter. “For my fellow allergy havers out there, Lady Luck and Karma are just like us!”

  
“Yeah, we’re just regular... uh ...people under our magical outfits. Just like we _believe_ Mite and Méfait are regular people, albeit assholes, but regular people nonetheless. So they try hitting us with our allergies and we’ll spray ourselves with bug repellent.”

  
Lady Luck nods, “then use Méfait’s feathers as a feather duster.” Karma holds out her hand for a fist bump and Lady Luck easily obliges. “I have a shellfish allergy and I _dare_ _Madame_ Mite to send a seafood akuma my way.”

  
“No way! I have a shellfish allergy too!” Alya takes out a notepad then furiously starts writing on it, “I happen to have a couple of food allergies. Ironic given...” Karma coughs into her fist, “ _redacted_ ,” She moves her hand, “but I make it work.” She beams.

  
“Moving on.” Alya says putting her notepad to her side, “I can apologize about the name a thousand times over but what do you two think of the Luckyblog?”

  
“It’s great. Super helpful. And everything is so neatly formatted.” Alya blushes.

  
“You and the website’s handlers are a huge help.” Lady Luck adds, “and I would personally like to thank them for their assistance.”

  
“Did you guys hear that?” Alya gushes.

  
The door behind Alya opens, “I have returned!” Chloé announces with a large, rectangular box. “Courtesy of... that place. A variety pack of gluten-free, nut-free pâtissèries!” She puts the box in Lady Luck’s lap then plops down in the empty chaise across from the door.

  
Lady Luck looks down then opens the box. Karma lets out an impressed hum, “they went all out.” Lady Luck comments, picking up a circular pâtissèries. “What is this?”

  
“Bear claw.” Karma and Chloé reply simultaneously, then stare at each other.

  
Karma grabs a green macaron from the box and pops it into her mouth, “this is so good.” She moans picking up another one.

  
Lady Luck’s eyes widen considerably as she takes her first bite. She just sits there in stunned silence holding the pâtissèrie in her hand until she swallows her bite. “This is incredible. I feel like I need to draw up a dowry and marry the shop owner’s firstborn.” Karma chokes on her second macaron and Lady Luck pats her back without missing a beat.

  
“I think you’d have a bit of competition, Lady Luck.” Chloé’s scoff could be heard in the background, “my classmate Marinette, who is a total hottie, is the boulangerie pâtissèrie owners’ only child. Max, can you show us a pic of Marinette Dupain-Cheng?”

  
An image of a much shorter Marinette hugging Alix pops up on the screen beside Alya. Above the blue-haired girl on the left is the name Marinette written in neat cursive and above the pink-haired girl is Alix written in the same handwriting. The timestamp on the photo is June 2020.

  
“She’s beautiful.” Lady Luck breathes.

  
Karma uncaps the water bottle on the floor beside her leg and urgently gulps it down.

  
“I’m much more beautiful!” Chloé yells pouting.

  
“ _Damn_ , she shot up like a rocket huh? She’s... a lot taller now.”

  
“Hey!” Chloé jumps up from her seat then leans on the chair Alya is seated in, “Lady Luck, are you into girls? Because I’m a girl and I’m into you.”

  
“That was forward.” Alya whistles.

  
“Uh...” Lady Luck moves her hand from Karma’s back, “uh...” She repeats.

  
Chloé is staring at her batting her eyelashes.

  
Karma downs her second bottle of water, finishing with a relieved sigh. “Karma, are you okay?” Alya asks.

  
“Ate too fast.” She rasps.

  
“I... I don’t know yet.” Lady Luck subconsciously leans closer to Karma as Chloé inches closer.

  
“If you want a civilian girlfriend all you have to do is ask~” The blonde smiles leaning on the chair with a loving sigh. “I’m fabulous and fabulously wealthy so anything of mine is yours.”

  
“I will... let you know?”

  
“S-So... next question? Favorite superpower!” Alya says excitedly.

  
“Not mine.” Karma mutters uncapping another water bottle. “Can I get more of these?” She gestures to the water bottle in her hand.

  
“I’ve...” She eyes Chloé still staring at her lovingly, “been intrigued by the power of flight... and intangibility.”

  
“Those are badass.” Alya nods sagely, “I’m a sucker for invisibility myself. Ooh! And like the power of warping reality or creating illusions?” The orange-haired teen nods to herself. “What about you Karma?”

  
“I like intangibility. Going through walls is awesome. But if I had to pick a favorite, favorite it would be weather control. Or elemental control.” Alya is practically projecting heart-eyes. “This question isn’t fair. I have like a top five list of favorite superpowers: intangibility, weather slash elements, super strength is like a given, superspeed, and lastly shapeshifting.” Karma ticks off with her fingers. “What about you, Mlle. Blogger?”

  
“Top five? Invisibility – naturally, illusions and reality-warping, intangibility, power mimicry, and animal communication.” Alya fans herself off, “but if we keep on this subject we’ll all be here all night. So moving on, regrettably.” She nudges Chloé who lifts her head then goes back to the chase, still keeping her eyes on Lady Luck. “What’s your favorite thing about your partner? These aren’t my questions, I’m pulling them up straight from the luckyblog. I know from personal experience Lady Luck is quick to shut down anyone who badmouths Karma.”

  
“Even Karma herself,” Karma says rubbing the back of her neck. Alya looks over at her in surprise. “Chewed me out when I was feeling sorry for myself.”

  
“Karma is an invaluable, irreplaceable partner and it is a genuine pleasure to be in her company. There is no one I’d rather fight akumas with.”

  
“Aww. I feel the same way, Double L!”

  
“Now Karma, this question is for you.” They both blink at Alya. “How do you keep so cheery when there’s a pair of lunatics who keep trying to throw the city in chaos?”

  
“That’s a fair question.” Karma scratches her head, “wonder that myself sometimes. If we were miserable all the time we’d _be_ Mite and Méfait, wouldn’t we?”

  
“Can you do Mme. Mite’s voice again?”

  
Karma clears her throat, “go, my precious akuma and ruin Lady Luck and Karma’s day with your evilness!” Alya cackles.

  
Lady Luck gasps then whispers something into Karma’s ear. Alya watches Karma’s other ear twitch adorably then a grin breaks out on Karma’s face and she nods when they separate.

  
“You two make a pretty good team. I mean, you had the whole thing with the copy akuma and you didn’t even silently communicate with each other. Like... how...? How did you do that?”

  
“I have complete and total faith in Double L.”

  
“Karma and I are equal partners. I would never try infantilizing her like that copy.” Lady Luck says with an eye roll.

  
Karma nudges her partner, “watch Mme. Mite try and pull another duplicate akuma of me next.”

  
“Don’t worry, I’m wholly prepared for that.” Karma and Alya both whistle. “But of course you know I can’t tell you, especially over a livestream.” Karma mimes locking her mouth and tossing away the key.

  
“This question’s for Lady Luck: We hear Karma calling you Double L all the time. Do you have any nicknames for your partner?”

  
“Sadly, no. I would be open to recommendations – provided they aren’t... skeevy or undermining.” The camera zooms in one Lady Luck’s face as she narrows her eyes.

  
“Karma, do you have any other nicknames for Lady Luck?” Alya asks.

  
“No? Double L hit me like a double reverse UNO card!”

  
“Do you stack draw two and draw four cards in UNO?” Alya asks.

  
“Hell yeah I do, doesn’t everyone?”

  
“Apparently, I read an article in which that was not the ‘proper’ way to play the game.” Lady Luck says turning to her partner. “Neither is adding a reverse card to the draw two or draw four cards.”

  
“Oh come on! Next, they’re gonna say you can’t lay down more than one skip card.” Karma scoffs, “‘proper,’ yeah okay.”

  
🎤

  
“Adrien? Adrien Alan Agreste, I’ve been...?” The blond looks up from the laptop on the computer desk to his mother hovering over his shoulder, “what _are_ you doing?”

  
“W-Watching the livestream interview of Lady Luck and Karma. A classmate of mine is the luckyblogger. She helped Lady Luck and Karma take out the last akuma and they granted her an exclusive interview!” Émilie narrows her eyes as she leans on her son’s chair.

  
“...The alignment chart places Karma as chaotic good. Ninety-three percent of our views agree while the other seven place her as neutral good. I’m gonna have to agree with the majority here.” Karma wordlessly gives a helpless shrug, “as for Lady Luck forty-six percent claim her to be lawful good while the fifty-four percent are saying neutral good. Again, I gotta go with the higher percentage.”

  
“Where is this located?”

  
Adrien shrugs, “they haven’t said. But Chloé provided the space so it has to be in one of Oncle André’s buildings, maybe?” The blond picks up his phone from the desk and starts rapidly texting. It happens so quickly, Émilie can’t read what was written.

  
“Ooh. We have ourselves a question. All questions will be submitted anonymously unless the sender specifically requests to be named and this one has...” Émilie gasps as she sees Adrien’s face pop up on the computer screen and on her son’s phone is the orange-haired girl with the glasses. “Hello M. Agreste, you’re on live.”

  
Émilie makes sure her body isn’t visible from Adrien’s angle.

  
“I just wanted to say I’m a huge fan of Lady Luck and Karma. I’m a huge superhero fan in general but you almost never see a pair of a—butt-kicking lady superheroes.”

  
“He’s got a point.” The bespectacled girl says, “...but that’s not a question.”

  
“R-Right. I’m guessing my question would be... are there more butt-kicking lady superheroes you gu—girls work with?”

  
The heroes share a glance that has Émilie raise an eyebrow, “yes.” They both reply.

  
Adrien gasps excitedly, “but, for safety’s sake we cannot say more than that.” Lady Luck finishes.

  
“I-I completely understand.” The blond nods.

  
“ _Hi, Adrikins_!” A camera focuses on Chloé laying on a chaise picking at a pâtissèrie on her plate.

  
“I-I’m just so giddy talking to you two! All you do for the city and everything. I want to thank you both from the bottom of my heart.”

  
“Aren’t you a sweetheart. Thank you for your thanks.”

  
Adrien blushes and jostles the phone when he rubs the back of his neck.

  
“We have another question. Would either of you break the law?”

  
“Depends on the law.” They both answer without preamble or looking at each other.

  
“That’s not very ‘lawful good’ of you, Lady Luck.” Chloe yells from across the room.

  
“Wait, wait... you’re typing too fast for me to—”

  
“You two are vigilantes!” Police Chief Roger Raincomprix’s angry face pops up on the screen, replacing Adrien’s. “The city only allows you two to operate because we have no magical defenses. If either of you break the law, we’ll have no choice to arrest you.”

  
They both roll their eyes, “if you arrest either of us then you’re dooming the city to fall to Mite and Méfait’s mercy. You know, since you have ‘no magical defenses.’” Lady Luck says leaning back in her seat.

  
“We can’t let you just roam the city as you please—”

  
“Can you cut this guy off?” Lady Luck asks.

  
“Yup.” Max replies before the police chief’s face disappears from the screen. Alya turns around giving the bespectacled boy behind the computer screen a thumbs up.

  
“Now we have some lovely fanart from our viewers! Our bot Markov has filtered out the... non-family-friendly images and I feel like I should apologize to Markov even though I haven’t seen any images yet.” When the camera focuses on Markov he has x’s for eyes instead of his usual ovals.

  
“I just thought of something!” Chloé jumps up from her seat, “you can patent your namesakes and make buckets of euros! I’m talking dolls, accessories, clothing! You name it!”

  
“And we can donate the proceeds to—”

  
“ _Donate_!?” Chloé laughs, “why would...” Lady Luck just _stares_ at her, “...I not say that first?” She laughs awkwardly. “I can call up my lawyer.”

  
“You have your own lawyer?” Karma asks. Her domino mask is covering the top half of her face but it’s obvious from her tone she’s raising an eyebrow at the blonde.

  
“She’s a family lawyer.” Chloé dials a number then hits video call. Kim’s face pops up on the screen, “ewww. I don’t want _you_ , I want your sister.”

  
“She’s exfoliating. What do you want her for?”

  
“I want to know how much money it’ll cost to license Lady Luck and Karma’s likeness before the knockoff garbage begins polluting our city.”

  
🎤

  
“In one of André’s old buildings?”

  
“Maybe not _old_ but definitely one that isn’t used for anything I’d say legal.” Gabriel adjusts his glasses, “look for anything. Anything at all. I’m desperate here, Gabriel.”

  
He holds up a hand, “alright, alright. I’ll search the city for an emotion I can...” His head snaps up, “I sense something. Anger and ...embarrassment?”

  
Gabriel unmutes the television. “This is Nadja Chamack with a news break! There’s a robbery in progress in the fifteenth arrondissement. Three police offers were injured and—” The burgundy-haired woman gasps, “and here comes Lady Luck and Karma!” She squints as she looks up, “and is that a _robot_ with them?”

  
The robot in question floats down to the newsanchor, “greetings. I am Markov. I am the one who told Lady Luck and Karma about the robbery taking place. Lady Luck and Karma did not want Alya Césaire to come to harm as this is not a magical attack.”

  
Markov’s face changes to Alya and Chloé both leaning forward causing only the top half of their faces to be visible in the screen. “Asshole robbers interrupting my Lady Luck time!” Chloé growls.

  
“They’re taking on robbers?!”

  
“We shouldn’t be... routing for them, should we?”

  
Émilie shakes Gabriel by the shoulders, “did you forget _our money_ is in that bank!?”

  
Nadja ducks as the robbers start opening fire but Lady Luck calmly deflects the bullets by spinning her yo-yo in front of her. “Wait! Where’s the other—”

  
Karma leaps from the air and lands on two of the robbers knocking them out. “Here I am!”

  
“ _The other one’s getting away_!” Chloé voice screams from Markov’s face.

  
Lady Luck thrusts her yo-yo out in front of her and trips up the other robber. As the last one tries to tackle Karma she lifts her right hand backward and punches them in the face and they fall down.

  
“How did you—?”

  
“I have these big ass ears, Double L.” Her ears twitch.

  
Nadja and her cameraperson run over to them, “I know we have spotty footage of you two stopping a train a few weeks back but stopping a robbery? _After_ the police chief called you vigilantes?”

  
“You’re watching the livestream?!” Alya’s voice asks from Markov’s face

  
“Of course.” Nadja says with a nod, “and may I say you’re doing a fantastic job. I’d love to give you a journalist internship, if you’re interested.” There’s some intelligible screaming that shorts out Markov’s screen.

  
“I’d take that as a yes.” Lady Luck says with a shrug.

  
“I’d also like an interview with you two, if it’s alright?”

  
“So long as you don’t ask any personal questions.”

  
“Of course not! Mite and Méfait can go to hell. And if I ever get akumatized it’ll be them I come after. But obviously, there would be no point in interviewing you two right after an interview. How about next month?”

  
The heroes glance at each other then shrug, “okay.” Lady Luck replies.

  
🎤

  
“Chief?”

  
“I can’t believe...” The police chief takes off his hat and scratches his head, “we couldn’t take out four armed robbers? But a pair of magical onesie wearing _children_ could? They made us look like fools!”

  
“C-Chief—”

  
“What? My anger will attract an akuma? Then let it! I’d be doing the city a favor getting rid of those... children. And what kind of police chief am I letting a couple of kids protect this city?”

  
He puts his hat back on and rubs his face with both hands. The other officers in the room gasp and duck for cover when an akuma phases through the wall then floats over to the police chief, flying into the baton clipped onto his belt’s holster. “ _Lawmaker, Lawbreaker. I am Madame Mite, thank you for making this easy for me. I agree with you being the sole voice of the law in the city and I will give you the power to make it so. Just, you know, take care of a couple of_ pests _for me._ ”

  
“As you desire, Madame Mite.”


End file.
